I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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