She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
