If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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