Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
