Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
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I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
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Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
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