We're facebook friends in real life
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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