i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
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We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
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I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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