this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
