Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
