just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
