apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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