So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I think my moral compass just broke
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
