Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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