Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize