can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
