the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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