Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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