Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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