covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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