What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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