Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
