About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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