then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize