I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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