What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
