I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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