toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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