I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
