Have you finally orgasmed yet?
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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