Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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