I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I am spending my child support on dildos
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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