worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
