You just made me feel so damn special
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
