He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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