At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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