What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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