Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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