shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
She bit a glass in half.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
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