get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I forgot how hot balto sounded
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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