I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
soo... how was my night?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
