Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food