am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
