I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
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