you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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