I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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