i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I need water and some morals
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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