I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
