Dual....:-)
high people should be assigned attendants
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
