need another drink. this is the easiest way
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
