Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize