I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
