either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
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