Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
