Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
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