I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
